I Will Learn to Let You Go (I Won't Let Go)
by Unstoppable Cyborg
Summary: Claire has found a way to give Jim back his humanity, but there's a catch. Rated T for discussions of mortality and implied body horror.


**I don't own ****_Trollhunters._**** Also,** **I'm pretty sure that someone else came up with this idea but I can't find it so if you came up with it tell me and I'll give you credit!**

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Jim, look," Claire said, pointing almost feverishly at the potion contained within the mason jar. She didn't look at him.

"What am I looking at?" he asked. His girlfriend had multiple potion-based projects at the moment.

"It'll let you be human again," Claire said. Jim turned her face so he could kiss her in thanks, and then saw the sadness in her eyes, saw the way she was gnawing on her lip.

"What's the catch?" he asked. "I love you, but I'm not taking any potions until I know all the side effects."

"Well, you won't be as strong or fast as you are now, but other than that you'll be fine." She forced a smile but quickly turned away.

"Please tell me that the ingredients of this potion aren't anything like sacrificed babies."

"What? No! Just because I'm im, um, just because I'm using some of Morgana's spellbooks for reference doesn't mean I'm doing stuff like she did!" The look on her face was more annoyed than irate. It was the same look Claire got when she was pretending that the way Morgan used her didn't bother her as much as it actually did.

Jim put his hands up as a placating gesture. "Sorry, sorry, I just feel like you're keeping something from me... oh no. Claire, if this will make it so you give me your humanity in exchange I'm not doing it."

"No, Jim. It'll make you human again and it won't change me at all. There aren't any ethical dilemmas if you take it. All it'll do is make you a regular human with a magical amulet." She turned halfway away from him, hugging herself.

He put a hand on her shoulder. "Please, tell me what's wrong." She sighed and pulled out her phone before finding her photos app. She scrolled back several years until she found the a selfie Mary had taken of their Saturday detention group.

"Do I look any older than I did in this photo?" She turned to face him. "Let's ignore the fact that I have white hair."

"No, not really."

"Exactly. I wouldn't say I stopped aging when I made that giant portal but, well," she looked away. "I'm twenty-one. I don't think I'll look like it until at least the end of the century. And you haven't really aged, either. If you take the potion you'll age like humans are supposed to," she sniffled. "And you'll be dead or dying by the time I look like I'm old enough to buy a drink."

Jim pushed the potion away. "I'm not taking it." He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm not leaving you."

Claire murmured something that was muddled out by her sobbing.

"Sorry," Jim said as he reached up to stroke her hair. "I didn't quite get that."

"We don't know how long you'll live as a half-troll."

"We've known that the amulet could make me die young ever since sophomore year; me becoming human again isn't going to change that. Heck, me being human might make me die sooner, since I won't be as strong and stuff. And I use the daywalking stone all the time, so the chances of me turning to stone are pretty low. And it's not like I'm going to be malnourished, I figured out a diet before we even got to New Jersey."

"Calcification of organs is a thing, even in humans. We've all talked about how there's a high chance of it happening to you because of you being half made of stone," she said, burying her face in his shoulder. "Let's face it, Merlin was almost as bad as Frankenstein when putting you together and he was thinking more short-term. Even if you were just a weapon, which you're not, it was stupid to make you unable to walk in the daylight."

"Is that what you're so worried about?"

"You'd also be happier."

"I'm happy with you. It's not like it was when we were teenagers, I'm doing better than I was back then. Would it be cool to be human again? Yeah, but I'm okay with what I am." He lifted her head so she could look at him, so she could see that he was serious. "I'll make sure to get tested for calcification more often; Mom would appreciate me coming to Arcadia more often anyways. Besides, I may as well get into a better habit for keeping an eye on my health. But until we can be sure that me being a half-troll is going to kill me, I am _not _taking that potion."

"Okay." Her voice was tight and high-pitched. Fragile. It would only take a couple words to cause her to break down, hopefully in tears and not in a flurry of blackened veins and violet light. How long had she known about her longevity? Was Jim the first person she had told?

"You said you haven't aged since you made that giant portal?"

"Yeah."

"Do you remember what I said to you back then?"

Some of the hurt on her face changed to that familiar annoyance. "That I shouldn't do it? I know, I messed up and I have to deal with it... _forever._" The last word was softer. Jim shook his head.

"No, well, we _did _say that, but that's not what I'm getting at. I told you I wouldn't let you do this alone. And I'm not going back on that promise."

And there was the breakdown of tears.


End file.
